Some guy in Arizona yesterday called the fire department reporting a fire at his house. Turns out there was no fire, but he wanted the fire department to get his cat down out of a tree. They got there and refused to rescue the cat, telling the owner to “wait until the cat gets hungry and comes down”. The man then went into his house and came out with a gun, shooting at the firemen. When later sentenced to five months in jail, the owner admitted to the judge that he (not the cat) “might have been drinking” at the time of the incident.
No kidding? Why do they think the cat went up the tree in the first place? He was trying to get away from this nut!
Well yesterday my human got the brainy idea that I needed a “checkup” from the veterinarian. I only had a foggy memory of what that’s all about because the last time I went to a vet was when I was only a kitten and slept through most of it. All I know from that experience is that you should never fall asleep there ’cause when you wake up you’ll be missing parts that you came in with. Yesterday I overheard the phrase “take the cat to the vet” from my spot under the breakfast table, and decided it was time to make myself scarce.
So while I’m unceremoniously being dragged out from underneath the bed, I’m wondering to myself “Why do I need a checkup? There’s nothing wrong with me! It’s those idiot dogs that need a checkup! In fact I think they should all have a taste testing trip to the Menu Foods company.
Veterinarians are sadists. They get you in a little room on a slippery table, and the first thing he does to you is stick a thermometer up your butt. No flowers or candy first either. Then I hear the vet and my human talking about “taking a blood sample”. That can’t be good. But be sure that I intended to take a few blood samples from them too. After which the vet said maybe I needed my nails trimmed. My nails are just fine thankyou.
So the vet leaves and it’s just me and my human in the room. Mom starts that disgusting cooing sound…saying “it’s ok baby…you’re being a good kitty…nobody’s going to hurt you…” Clearly she hasn’t been paying attention. Maybe she needs to have her temperature taken.
Next a perky blonde comes in with a clipboard. She looks at me and says “Oh hi kitty! Aren’t you cute!” CUTE? Come over here…I’ll show you cute. Then I hear her and mom talking about “payment…cash or credit”. You mean to tell me she pays money to let someone torture me? I think there must be laws against this.
On the drive home mom almost had a trip to the people hospital cause just as she was trying to make a left turn in an intersection I let out howl that jolted her right out of her seat. She turned around and looked at me said “you almost made me have an accident!” Well yea that was the idea.
A woman in Chicago is suing Menu Foods, maker of the cat food which has recently been recalled and linked to kidney failure and death in several pets. In most states, pets are only considered “property” and therefore damages in lawsuits are usually minimal, in spite of the fact that the pet may have been considered part of the family.
Worried about the cat food recall by Menu Foods? Here is a link to the pet food site listing all the products that have been recalled.
Menu Foods dog food / cat food recall list
15-year-old Heidi the cat is doing well after she was fitted with a pacemaker. Surgeons at the University of Melbourne performed the rare operation, thought to be the first of its kind for cats in Australia.
The tiny pacemaker was lodged in the stomach muscles, and wires fed to the heart. Heidi was suffering from fainting spells due to arrhythmia, where beating momentarily ceases.
More colors, more styles, and more ways to fit everyBODY!
- Kids Dark T-shirt: black, navy, royal, red
- Plus Size Scoop Neck T-shirt: white
- Plus Size Scoop Neck Dark T-shirt: black
- Plus Size V-neck T-shirt: white
- Plus Size V-neck Dark T-shirt: black
New colors to EXISTING apparel:
- Infant/Toddler T-shirt: yellow*
- Kids T-shirt: Ash Grey
In the mid 1950s, many Americans were asking themselves: Why can’t Johnny read? In a Life magazine article, Pulitzer Prize-winning author John Hersey maintained that American children couldn’t read because their classroom primers were boring and “antiseptic” and could not compete with cartoons, comics, and other more fun and interesting stimuli, so he challenged Theodor Geisel, a.k.a Dr. Seuss, to write a story “first graders wouldn’t be able to put down.” And that’s just what Dr. Seuss did, using a vocabulary of only 236 words. In 1957, Random House published The Cat in the Hat and those 236 words revolutionized the way children learn to read.
Oh ick! Mom actually let the little turd sleep on the bed last night. She said “he’s so little and he doesn’t have much hair, he’s probably cold…” Too bad. I say let the little crybaby sleep outside.
Well this just cuts the cheese! My humans went to the local animal shelter today and brought home another dog. Like the two dogs that are already here aren’t enough! This one is a scrawny little white thing that weighs less than I do soaking wet. In fact I’m not even sure it’s 100% dog. It looks like a weird cross between a dog and some other species…maybe a monkey or a possum. I mean…geez! Look at this thing!
Mom holds it and makes this disgusting cooing sound in its ear. She says “he’s a sweet little boy and he just needs a good home and someone to love him”. Makes me want to puke. And why does he have to have MY home? The other two brainless canines have just rolled over and welcomed him into the house like a steak fresh off the barbeque.
If I can get my humans to quit drooling over the little spit-wad for two minutes we’re going to have a TALK!
